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Answering machine message 121
Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Sam
can't come to the phone right now because he's spending the week in his
beautiful summer home on the French Riviera.
Answering machine message 122
(Slight echo as if spoken in a large underground cave:) Help me,
please help me. I'm down here in the thing you're holding in your hand. I can't
get out because my leg is broken and my hand is stuck between two wires. Wait,
what's that in the dark? OH NO, not a... a... a... Oh no, it IS! (Crunching
noise.)
Answering machine message 123
(Sound of scrap metal falling down a staircase continues through
message.) Hello, we are having some technical problems right now, so we can't
take your call. Please leave us a message.
Answering machine message 124
(Automatic gunfire, explosions, rockets, jets; agitated voice:) I'm
pinned down and can't come to the phone right now, and Bob's handling supporting
fire! Leave your name and number, and a message! We'll get back to you as
soon... FIRE IN THE HOLE! (BOOM!) We'll get back to you as soon as the air cover
napalms the place!
Answering machine message 125
Sorry... I'm far too depressed to come to the phone. If you can be
bothered, leave a message after the sound of the gunshot, and maybe somebody
will call you I guess... (BANG!)
Answering machine message 126
Hi, I'm not sane right now, but if you leave your name, number and
shoe size at the sound of the tone, I'll get back to you when and if I return to
my senses.
Answering machine message 127
(Frantic violin music:) Hello. You have reached 435-3949. We are
currently unable to answer because we are either chasing, or being chased by,
bats. Please leave a message.
Answering machine message 128
(In a good Australian accent:) G'day mate. Can't come to the phone
now because I'm a bit tied up with this crocodile. Just leave a message, and
I'll get back to you.
Answering machine message 129
Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a
message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
Answering machine message 130
You have reached 843-4734. Please hold while I process your call.
(Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your
number and was able to match it with our list of important callers. None of our
staff is authorized to speak with you except for Fred, who is not here right
now. Please leave your name phone number and a brief message at the tone. Thank
you for calling and have a nice day.
Answering machine message 131
I can't answer the phone now because I'm over at Slobinskis's house.
Me and five other guys are helping him replace a lightbulb.
Answering machine message 132
I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel
stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help
me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks
Answering machine message 133
I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to
the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but
I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess
it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is
so confusing.
Answering machine message 134
I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my
brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one
of them will get back to you.
Answering machine message 135
Hi, you've reached 474-2340. Don, Kendy and Sylvia can't come to the
phone right now because they've been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by android
duplicates. You could leave your name and number at the tone, but I wouldn't --
you might be next! (evil laugh)
Answering machine message 136
I'm unable to take your call in person because I'm having an
out-of-the-body experience. In fact I'm standing right behind you and I can hear
everything you say. But leave me a message anyway to help me reconnect when I
get back.
Answering machine message 137
Hi, you've reached Meredith's room. I'm sorry I can't come to the
phone right now, but my waveform has temporarily collapsed, so leave a message,
and I'll call you when I've pulled myself together.
Answering machine message 138
Steve is reassembling Elvis' brain and can't come to the phone right
now, but if you leave your name...
Answering machine message 139
If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the
phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number...
Answering machine message 140
Hi, this is Jim. Sorry I can't take your call but I'm playing my
guitar too loud to hear the phone ring. Please leave me a message and I'll call
you back at the end of Van Halen-1.
Answering machine message 141
Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new
parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be sure to get back to
you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice; never try to clean a parakeet cage
with a vacuum cleaner.
Answering machine message 142
Thank you for calling the Smith residence. Our operators are
presently on strike in sympathy with Major League Baseball. Please leave a
message
Answering machine message 143
Hi, this is the answering machine. I am on strike. Any messages you
leave will be deleted.
Answering machine message 144
I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement
printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or
if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and
how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the
Treasury, please ignore this message.
Answering machine message 145
Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the
money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me
money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
Answering machine message 146
(To the tune of Sidewalk Surfing by the Beach Boys:) Catch a quake
and go seismo surfing with me... (Music fades.) Yo, Dudes and Dudettes! Grab
your skateboard and head for the nearest epicenter, because *QUAKE'S UP*! As for
me, I'm from New Jersey, so I'm gonna hide under the biggest doggone piece of
furniture I can find. Leave your message at the tone, and I'll get back to you
as soon as the shaking stops.
Answering machine message 147
We can't get to the phone right now because we were killed in the
earthquake. Tragic, isn't it? But, leave a message anyway, someone is sure to
get it eventually.
Answering machine message 148
Hi. This is David. I've shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a
sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I'm going to bed indefinitely. When
I wake up, I'll play my messages. Please leave one
Answering machine message 149
We're not in cause we're out LOOTING! Leave a message and we'll call
you back and tell you what we got.
Answering machine message 150
(Theme music and voice from Alfred Hitchcock Presents:) Good evening.
I'm sorry, but Steve can't come to the phone now, as he's quite tied up. (Sounds
of struggle in background, and voice heard through a gag.) I should know. I tied
him up. But leave your name and number, and he'll return your call if he manages
to get free. And speaking of things that are not free, we now have this word
from our sponsor...
Answering machine message 151
(Thug voice:) Uh, hello, Mike and Brian aren't here right now.
They've been kidnapped! So at the beep, leave your name, your number, your
message, and ten thousand dollars in a brown paper bag.
Answering machine message 152
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave
me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
Answering machine message 153
Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment,
I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking
about it...
Answering machine message 154
Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start
talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone.
Otherwise, well, what can I say?
Answering machine message 155
Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT?
Answering machine message 156
Hi, I'm not home because I've gone on a BLOODY RAMPAGE! When I get
home, and CLEAN OFF THE BLOOD, I'll be sure to give you a call. If I haven't
ALREADY COME OVER, that is. (Coughing loony laughter.)
Answering machine message 157
(Italian Mafia-style voice:) I can't come to the phone right now. Me
and Guido are trying to stuff a body in the trunk. I think we're going to have
to size it a little... (Aside:) HEY GUIDO! GET THE CHAINSAW! Anyways, leave your
name and a message. If I like it, you'll hear from me. If not, you'll hear from
Guido! (Laughter.)
Answering machine message 158
Leave a message or I'll send 30,000 volts through your phone. I am an
electrical engineer. I can do that.
Answering machine message 159
This is Dan Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and
number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a
federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
Answering machine message 160
You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice
patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is
done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally
thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial
consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you
in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to
arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of
the tone. Thank you.