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Answering machine message 161
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
Answering machine message 162
Shhh! Don't talk, just listen! Meet me at the corner of Broad and
Main and bring the girl. (CLICK)
Answering machine message 163
After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the
money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.
Answering machine message 164
My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with
your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. I'll get back
to you pending credit approval.
Answering machine message 165
Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to
my answering machine for only $0.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card
number at the tone...
Answering machine message 166
(Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed
is disconnected or no longer in service.
Answering machine message 167
When the caller calls your number, as Steven Wright suggested, simply
have your message be a busy signal!
Answering machine message 168
The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The new
number is 226-0477. (Yes, same number.) Please make a note of it.
Answering machine message 169
Thank you for calling the Peoria Weather Line. (Insert appropriate
weather report for the season here.)
Answering machine message 170
Please leave a tone after the message.
Answering machine message 171
Please hang up now if you would want to speak to Johan. Otherwise,
please stay on the line to leave him a message.
Answering machine message 172
Hi, you have reached Richard. I'm sorry, but my answering machine is
out of order, so the voice you are hearing is actually me.
Answering machine message 173
(Fairly boring message:) This is John. I can't come to the phone
right now, but if you leave a message at the tone, I'll return your call. (Now,
re-record the message every morning. Frequent callers will notice that something
sounds different, but will be confused since the words are exactly the same.)
Answering machine message 174
(To annoy a friend record this as his message, and he will have
keypad music as messages:) Hello, you have reached Dave. Please enter your four
digit PIN at the tone.
Answering machine message 175
Hello, you have reached 555-1234. Our voice mail system is currently
experiencing difficulties, so at the tone, please type your message on the
keypad using the appropriate letters, and press the pound sign when finished.
Answering machine message 176
The party you dialed is not available. Your call is being diverted to
an alternate number. Please stand by... (Ring...) The number you dialed must be
dialed by your 0 operator. (Click, beep, dial tone.)
Answering machine message 177
Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.) No, it doesn't look
as if I'm in right now. Maybe you should leave a message at the beep or call me
back later. BEEP. (Pause three seconds.) Just kidding, that wasn't really the
beep. Are you ready now?
Answering machine message 178
(Long pause, sound of phone dropping, sleepy voice:) Argh! (Pause.)
Hello... (Sound of phone dropping, then a yawn.) Sorry man... I'm a bit tired at
the moment... (Long yawn.) I'm going back to sleep now... Just going to switch
the answering machine on...
Answering machine message 179
Hello? (Pause. Roommate's voice:) C'mon, Matt, we're gonna be late!
-- Hold on, there's someone on the phone! Hello? -- C'mon, dude! -- Hello? Aaah,
whatever... c0pyr|ghtah!aj0kesc0m BEEP!
Answering machine message 180
(Loud music, John shouting:) HI, THIS IS JOHN, LET ME TURN DOWN THE
MUSIC. (Loud footsteps, music turned down, a door slams.) Hi, this is the
answering machine at John's home, he just rushed out the door, so please leave a
message at the beep...
Answering machine message 181
(From a distance:) Hello I'm far very away from the phone at the
moment and can't get to it to take your message, but I'll get back to you as
soon as I get nearer to the phone!
Answering machine message 182
Hello you have reached the Smith residence. All of our operators are
busy. Your call will be processed in the order it was received. (Annoying
music...) Due to a large volume of calls, all of our operators are bu...
(Ringing phone.) Hello, we're sorry were not home right now, so please leave
your message after the beep.
Answering machine message 183
Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare
for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? ... BEEP
Answering machine message 184
All our answering machines are busy. Please hold. (Pause.) All our
answering machines are... (CLICK) This is the answering machine of...
Answering machine message 185
(Pick up the phone and say:) This is Chris. I'm not here right now.
Leave me a message. BEEP. (Then listen.)
Answering machine message 186
Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to
call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying
to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I
don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.
Answering machine message 187
Hello, we are all currently home, but someone stole our phone... And
the recording tape from this answering machine. So you can't reach us until we
either find a phone or get a tape. If you had to waste a quarter on this call...
Sorry.
Answering machine message 188
I just got a car phone. I'm not here at the moment. Leave me a
message and I'll call you when I'm out.
Answering machine message 189
This is Jeff, you're not in now, so I'll leave a message.
Answering machine message 190
Hi, can I speak to Mark?... Oh, there isn't?... I'm sorry, I must
have dialed the wrong number.
Answering machine message 191
Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
Answering machine message 192
Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message.
Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.)
OK, what would you like me to tell me?
Answering machine message 193
You've reached Mike and Nancy's answering machine. They're not home
right now. At least, I don't think they are. Hang on. (Voice moves away from
recording microphone.) Mike? Nancy? (Voice comes back.) Nope, they're not here,
so at the beep...
Answering machine message 194
This is Anthony. Leave me a message at the beep. (beep) Whoops, I bet
you couldn't hear that. Lemme try again. (Beep) Nuts, once more with feeling...
Answering machine message 195
Hello, please send me email instead. I always never playback these
stupid answering machine messages. Besides, I am probably online right now.
Answering machine message 196
We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your
phone 90 degrees and try again.
Answering machine message 197
This is Frank. You can leave me a message, but I must warn you I get
annoyed with messages that are hard to read. So please use your shift key
appropriately, avoid overdoing punctuation, and spell-check your message, or I
might ignore it.
Answering machine message 198
Hello... Yes, I'd like to order two medium pepperoni pizzas please,
with extra cheese... Oh, did I get the wrong number? Sorry about that. (Click.)
Answering machine message 199
OK, one more time... This is our answering machine... This is the
message on our answering machine... Any questions?
Answering machine message 200
(Classical music:) This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy
metal racket:) This is our answering machine on drugs. (Silence...) Any message?