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A baby seal walks into a club.
I'll repeat myself. A baby seal walks into a club.
Capon Fear
Why was the chicken afraid of the chicken?
Far from being a proverbial chicken, this deeply disturbed fowl suffered from
chronic depression and social anxiety disorder, usually treated with a
combination therapy of Luvox and Paxil.
The Truth About Baseball
Why did the professional baseball player cross the road?
Because his gigantic ass commanded him to.
You are a Redneck...
You are a redneck, if you read every joke in this database and don't get a
single punch-line.
Why did the chicken cross the
road?
To have hot sex with the perverted farmer.
Why did the chicken cross the
road?
To have hot sex with the perverted farmer.
Executive Rimmin'
Why did George W. Bush cross the road?
To plunge his slithery tongue into the pert and waiting anus of the oil
industry.
Knock Knock
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
An escaped serial murderer.
An escaped seri...Oh shit, MOMMY!!!
Crazy Old Man From Georgia
Did you ever hear bout the crazy old man from Georgia?
They found him smothered in thick coating of peach marmalade, peanut butter, and
his own feces.
A Cat, A Plant, and Sea Monkeys
What do a cat, plant, and sea monkeys have in common?
All three have endured tragic deaths of neglect at my apathetic hands!
Yo Mama is So... Long
Yo mama's so beautiful, chaste, and pure, I long to bask in the warm glow that
surrounds her.
Chicken ain't chicken
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause he freakin' felt like it!
A lawyer dies and goes to Hell.
He meets Satan, who says, "You are supposed to be in heaven, because you spent
your life defending the rights of those who sought justice."
And so the lawyer went to Heaven.
At that same moment, a High School guidance counselor died and went to Hell.
He meets Satan, who says, "How many kids did you fuck in the head, you screwy
freak? Would you like the "vultures eating your insides" or the"non-vultures
eating your insides" section? We also have an opening in the boiling cauldron of
oil. It's a favorite."
Difference Boy & Girl
What is the difference between a boy and a girl?
The boy is eight times more likely to be convicted of murder.
Knock, Knock... Arthur
Knock knock
Who's there?
Arthur
Arthur who?
Arthur any better jokes on this site?
12 Inch Stud
A 12 inch pianist walks into a bar, looks at the piano in the corner and says,
"Why, this model of upright piano makes me think of my first sexual interlude
with the maestro Liberace!"
When Beasts Speak!
What did the cat say to the mouse?
"The human telling this joke is attempting to anthropomorphise us!"
Salesman/Farmhouse v. 6.0
A salesman''s car breaks down in the pouring rain outside a farmhouse.
The salesman bangs on the farmhouse door.
The next morning, the farmer''s daughter wakes up to find her father in bed with
the salesman. She shoots them both and takes off in the salesman''s car.
She assumes the salesman''s identity and meets all of his quotas.
Shoulda Gone to A.A.
A radical Muslim cleric walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be?"
The cleric responds, "A gruesome puddle of your filthy infidel blood!"
Mommy, Mommy! 2
"Mommy, the kids all say we're aliens from outer space. That's not true, is it?"
"Vegl dibrogmrn di shtrtl mixtor!"
Those Kooky Polish Jokes
A polish guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, can you give me a lobotomy?"
The doctor says, "Why on earth would you want a lobotomy?"
The polack responds, "Why, so I can write 'dumb polack' jokes, of course!"