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Fish Brains
Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?
A: Dam
The chicken was never this
clever
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station
Where did it go?
A blond was driving to the airport when she saw a sign that read, "Airport -
Left," so she turned around and went back home.
That's Cheesy
Q: Why did the mouse go to the party?
A: He heard they were playing Parcheesi!
With Andy Rooney
Yo mama so stupid, it took her two hours to watch '60 minutes.'
Seriously, this has got to stop
Two blondes walked in to a bar...Thought they'd see that coming.
This is a poor joke
Yo mama is so poor she can't even pay attention.
An OD on Nyquil will do this...
It was a dark, foggy night. A man was wandering down the street, lost. He
spotted a house not far away, so he quickly ran to it and went inside. There was
no one inside the house so he began to look around. Inside one of the rooms, he
saw a large coffin in the corner. All of a sudden, the coffin rose up and began
to chase the man. He ran out of the house and down the street, but the coffin
kept following. The man desperately scrambled in his pockets for something to
scare the coffin off. He pulled out a tissue, but the coffin kept coming. He
yanked out his keys and threw them at the coffin, but it came closer. So the man
reached into his pocket again and pulled out a cough drop, and threw it at it.
And what do you know, the cough drop stopped the coffin!
Write this one down
Knock, knock
Who's there?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who?
Nevermind, it's pointless.
Yum!
Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy falls over?
A: doughnuts
The corporate ladder
A blonde sat at the bar when the bartender's son swaggers in. When he tells his
father of his promotion and raise, the bartender calls for everyone's attention
and announces that all drinks are on the house. When the blonde heard this, she
ran outside and brought back a ladder.
Dreamweaver
Yo mama's head so big, instead of having dreams she has motion pictures.
This Joke is Bananas!
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: What are you shaking about, its me she's going to eat.
Where's Ice Cube, Eve, and
Cedric?
Q: Where did the sheep get its haircut?
A: The ba-ba shop
Talking in Numbers
Q: Why is six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine.
Baby boomers
Q: What''s worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can?
A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
Coincidentally
Q: What did the bartender say when a priest, a boyscout, and a blonde walked in?
A: Is this a joke?
Hot Doggin'
Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls?
A: Sparky!
Cooky Cookie Joke
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctors office?
A: Because it was feeling crummy.
Amelie would be proud
Q: What do you call a gnome with its head in a Fairies dress?
A: A goblin!