HOME
This joke is toast
Q: What does a slice of toast wear to bed?
A: Jammies
A Perfect Circle
Q: What did the farmer use to make crop circles?
A: A Protractor
Gangs of New York Part II
Yo mama so dirty when I walked in her house the rats jumped me and the ants
stole my wallet.
Math Sucks
Q: Why is the math book always upset?
A: Because it has a lot of problems.
Lego my Legolas
Q: What Does Legolas feed his horse?
A: Elf-elf-a
A Joke of Genius
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat.
Culture Shock
Two cups of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind
in here." One cup of yogurt says, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."
Mighty Mouse
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, but no one knows how they got in there.
Jumper
Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a zombie baby?
A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.
Free of Charge
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink,
he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?" The bartender replies, "For you,
neutron, no charge."
I like long walks on the beach
Two lions are walking along the beach. One turns to the other and says "It's
awfully quiet today isn't it?"
Shrooming
A mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a drink, but the barkeep said, "Sorry,
but we dont serve mushrooms." The mushroom replies, "Why, I'm a fun guy"
Brooklyn Zoo
Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn?
A: To buy some quack
Hey DJ
Yo mama so dumb she dj's for the ice cream truck
A Real WANGsta
Q: What did the left leg say to the right leg?
A: That one in the middle thinks he's hard
Chips and Dip
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Doritos.
The Answer
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed when the chicken takes out a cigarette and
begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over
and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
Jew Unit
Yo mama so dumb, she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Everyone's Doing It
Q: What's bright eyed and bushy tailed?
A: A squirrel on crack.
It Burns
Yo mama so tall, she tripped and burnt her lip on the sun.