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Blonde's Medical Exam
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself
alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself
for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over
the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode
in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down
carefully and with considerable appreciation.
"Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today
you have never undergone an eye examination."
Blow in the Blonde's
What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear?
Thanks for the refill.
Flighty Blonde
What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?
Must be an earthquake!
Ice Hole
There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see
who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear
that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish.
Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the
brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running
back.
"A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"
Blonde Job Application
On an application form, what does a blonde put down for ''SEX?''
''Lots.''
Blonde and Prawn
What do blondes and shrimps have in common?
Their heads are full of shit, but the pink bits are nice.
Hanging with Blondes
There were nine blondes and a brunette hanging of a rope 100 stories high. They
had decided that one of them had to get off.
They argued and argued and finally the brunette said ''I'll go.''
The brunette made a touching speech and all the blondes clapped.
Blonde's Earrings
Q.Why do blonde women wear hoop earings?
A. Ankle holsters.
Bimbo Joke
How does a blonde turn the light on after having sex.
She kicks the car door open.
The Blonde and the Zipper
A young man is at a bus stop in New York. He sees an extremely beautiful blonde
in a tight mini-skirt, and decides to get on the bus directly behind her. As the
bus pulls up, she begins to board the bus, but cannot make the first step with
her mini zipped. She reaches behind her and undoes the zipper. Then she attempts
to board the bus, and once again she fails in her attempt. She reaches behind
her once more and undoes the same zipper. She tries again to board the bus, and
again she fails in her attempts. The young man finally decides just to lift her
into the bus.
When he lifts her she yells, “Don't get fresh with me!”
The young man just looks at her and says, “Lady you've just undone my zipper
twice, and now you say that I'm getting fresh with you!”
Blonde Boobies
Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies?
It hurts to boil their nipples!
Blonde and Doorknobs
What do blondes and doorknobs have in common?
Everyone gets a turn
Heh. Stupid Blondes.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Sunday?
Tell her a joke on Thursday!
Blonde Nurse
Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen?
A: To draw blood.
Fast Food Blondes
The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant owned by two blondes:
“Parking for drive-through customers only!”
The Blonde's Roadside Emergency
A blonde's car had broken down. A cop pulled up and asked her what the group of
naked men next to her were doing. The blonde said, ''They are my emergency
flashers.''
Blonde Technology
Q: Why did the blonde sell her television?
A: To buy a VCR!
Blonde in a Snowstorm
A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had
once told her. ''If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and
follow it.'' Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She
followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She
explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow
a plow. The driver nodded and said, ''Well, I'm done with the parking lot here
at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.''
Blonde Suicide
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown
off. “How did this happen?” the doctor asked. “Well I was trying to commit
suicide,” the blonde replied. “Trying to commit suicide by shooting your
finger?” “No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid
$6,000 for these,’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4,000
to get my teeth fixed.’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is
going to make a loud noise,’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the
trigger.”
Blonde with Half a Brain
What do you call a blonde with a half a brain?
Gifted!
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