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She's So Blonde
She's so blonde she spent an hour looking at a can of orange juice because it
said "concentrate".
The Blonde Flight Attendant
An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her
first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight
attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he
noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the
hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone,
crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "You can't get out of your
room?"; the captain asked. "Why not?" She replied, "There are only three doors
in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a
sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Popularity Is A Relative Term
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Blonde and Missed Bus
She is so blonde that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice
instead.
Blonde in a Barber Shop
A blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman
working there for a haircut. The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman takes
the blonde's headphones off and cuts her hair. At the end, the woman asks how
she likes her hair but, to her surprise the blonde is dead! The woman picks up
the headphones and listens.
She hears: “Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out."
He asks the first blonde, "What
is Easter?"
She answers, "Oh, that's that one time of the year when our whole family gets
together and we eat turkey."
St. Peter just shakes his head and says to the next blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answers, "Oh, that is the time of year when our family gets together and we
all open presents and the fat jolly guy comes down the chimney."
Again St. Peter just shakes his head. He asks the third blonde, "What is
Easter?"
She says, "Oh that's when Christ died and they put him in a tomb and rolled a
rock in front of it."
St. Peter smiles and urges, "Yes... go on..."
The blonde continues, "Then once a year we roll the stone away and he comes out
and if he sees his shadow we have six more weeks of winter."
Seduction Made Easy
What do blonde women put behind their ears to attract men?
Their ankles.
Two Blonde Jokes and Nubile
Cleavage
Want to hear two blonde jokes?
Listen to Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.
Sex-Obsessed Blonde
Why do some blondes only think about sex?
Because they're dirty blondes.
Blondes and Waterskiing
Why can you not teach blondes to waterski?
When they get wet, they roll over on their backs!
Return the Dog
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for
themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird
hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a
well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods
to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just
didn't follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the
blondes said to her companion, “Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw
him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the
store!”
Blondes and Brunettes
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
Blonde House Party
How do you get a blonde on the roof?
....tell her drinks are on the house.
Sanitary Blonde
A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five
hours late and her family was getting worried. When she finally got there she
explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD...”
Stupid Blonde
Q: How do you know when a blonde is going to say something stupid?
A: She opens her mouth!
Head Room
Q: How do you give a blonde more head room?
A: Adjust the steering wheel.
Blonde...Passenger
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.
Convenience Store
How are a blonde's legs like a convenience store?
They're always open.
Mirror, Mirror
In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it
only grants wishes if you tell the truth -- if you lie, you disappear. One day,
a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out
the mirror. The brunette goes first.
"I think I'm the smartest woman on earth."
"POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try. p> "I think I'm the
prettiest woman on earth."
"POOF!" She disappears. The blonde goes up.
"I think--"
"POOF!"
Blonde's Bad Day
Q: How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
A: Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her cigarette.
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