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Blondes on a Rope
There were 11 blondes and one brunette on a rope climbing up a mountain. They
had nothing to hold them to the rope. The rope began slipping and breaking.The
brunette said, ''Girls, I'm going to let go of the rope, since it can't hold all
of us. Your lives are more important to me. There are also many more of you..."
and she made a big speech about how special they were. At the end, all of the
blondes started clapping.
Sliding Doors
How are a blonde's legs like automatic doors?
You walk toward them and they open!
Blonde Crossing
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said, ''DON'T WALK.''
Blonde In A Bathroom
Why did the blonde get confused in the the bathroom?
She is not used to pulling her own pants down.
Blondes n' Crayons
How do you know when a blonde has lost her virginity?
Her crayons are wet.
Blonde Brains
Q: What's the difference between a blonde's brain and a box of rocks?
A: Nothing.
Tennis Balls
One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the
road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful
blonde standing next to him and smiling.
"What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked.
"Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back.
"Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow
and the pain was unbearable."
Blondes at a Drive-In
Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their
car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see ''Closed for the Winter''.
Brunette Shopping
Why do brunettes take blondes shopping with them?
So they can park in the handicap spaces.
Blonde Bicycle
Q: Why did the blonde run with the bike?
A: It was going too fast for her to get on.
Blonde - Mating Call
What is a blonde's mating call?
''NEXT!''
Blonde Girlfriend
Q: What's the advantage of having a blonde as a girlfriend?
A: You get to park in handicapped zones.
Big Ben Blonde
Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock.
Knock-Knock Blonde
Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?
Because they leave to answer the door.
Captured Blonde
A blonde woman and a red-headed woman are taken hostage by terrorists. The women
are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. But first, the
terrorists ask the red-headed woman if she has any last words.
The red-head points and says, “Twister!” The terrorists ran in all different
directions and the red-headed woman gets away.
When they realize what has happened, the come back and to where the blonde woman
is still standing, and they ask her if she has any last words. She points and
says, “Fire!”
Poor Blonde
A blonde owned a small business that she was about to lose, so she went to the
church and prayed: “God, if I don't win the lotto, I will lose my business.”
She didn't win.
So the next day she was about to lose her business and her car. She went to the
church to pray: “God, if I don't win the lotto, I will lose my business and my
car.”
Still, she didn't win.
So the next day she was about to lose her buisness, her car and her house. She
went to the church to pray: “God, if I don't win the lotto, I will loose my
business, my car and my house.”
Then suddenly the blonde was surrounded by a blinding white light, and she heard
the booming voice of God declare, “Buy a ticket.”
Rocks and Blondes
What do rocks and dumb blondes have in common?
You skip 'em when they're flat.
The Perfect Woman
Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a bar.
Blonde Bird
What do you call a blonde bird?
A swallow!
Brunette, Blonde, Brunette
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.
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