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Blonde and Drive-Thru
What do you ask a blonde in a drive-thru?
Is that for here or to go?
Blondes and Iceberg
Two blondes were stranded on an iceberg with only a telescope. One of the
blondes was looking through the telescope and said, ''We're saved! Look, it's
the Titanic!''
Two Things About a Blonde
Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!
Blondes and Butter
Q: What do blondes have in common with butter?
A: They both spread for bread.
Half-Brainiac
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!
Christmas Blondes
What do you call three blondes at Christmas?
Ho, ho, ho!
Blonde, Redhead, Parrot
One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together over the redhead's house
while the redhead's father was out. The father had a pet parrot, which he did
not let anyone else touch. But, when he left, the girls took him out. The girls
were playing with it, when the blonde grabbed the parrot and accidentally ripped
out one of its wings. “Now you've done it!” the red head yelled at the blonde.
“Go buy him another one just like that, here's some money.” The redhead went
into her piggy bank and gave the blonde $50. “Okay,” said the blonde, “but it's
going to hard to find a parrot with only one wing.”
Kiss Me I'm Blonde
Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop!
Blonde Bummer
What do you call a pimple on a blonde's butt?
A brain tumor.
Mary Lou has the Last Laugh
Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden one day with three boys.
They ran around in the garden and played tag. She later climbed the tree that
was in her garden.
Her mother yelled out, "Mary Lou get down out of the tree, the boys are going to
see your panties. She laughed and she laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing any
panties.
Blonde on the Computer
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
Cyber-Blonde 3
What do blondes and computers have in common?
They both go down!
Topless Sunbather
A woman was staying at a hotel and she decided to go sunbathing on the hotel
roof. When she laid down to sun her back, her bikini top fell off. She didn't
care so much, though, because nobody ever came up to the roof anyway. Which is
why she was surprised when she heard footsteps. It was the maitre'd from the
restaurant.
"Ma'am," he said, "we were all wondering if you could put your top back on."
"Why? I'm not disturbing anybody."
"Ma'am. You're on the skylight."
Blonde at the Doctor's
"Please remove your blouse and bra," says the doctor to the young blonde,
placing his stethoscope around his neck.
When she is ready, the doc says, "Big breaths."
"Yeth," she replies, "and I'm only thixthteen!"
Blonde...Bucket
What is the worst thing about sex with a blonde ?
Bucket seats.
Get You With The Nine
A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack
her.
She screams, ''Nein! Nein!'' So two guys walk away.
Blondes Screwing
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They only screw in cars.
Icy Blonde
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Blonde NASA Engineer
NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the
shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks,
"Pig #1, do you know your mission?"
The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion
dollar satellite. Oink oink."
Then NASA Control asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?"
The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion
dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink
oink."
Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?"
The blonde woman replies, "Ummmmmmm.... Oh yeah, I remember now. 'Feed the pigs
- and DON'T TOUCH A GODDAMNED THING!"
Blonde Shower
Q: How does a blonde guy take a shower?
A: He pees against the wind.
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