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A Side Order of Blondes
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
Blonde Robbery
A blonde walked up to a man and said, “Give me your wallet.” The man said,
“Okay, but give me the gun.”The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his
wallet. The man used the gun to steal his wallet back.The blonde said, “You're
an idiot -- there's no bullets in the gun.” The man replied, “You're the idiot
-- there's no money in the wallet.”
Tardy Blonde
Q: Why was the blonde late for work?
A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.
Thermos and Blonde
A blonde goes to work and sees that one of her co-workers has a thermos.
She asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, ''It keeps hot
things hot, and cold things cold''
The blonde was amazed and when she got home immediately went out and bought one.
The next day she goes to work and is proud that she has this wonderful object.
The same co-worker realizes she has a thermos and says, ''What do you have in
it?'' she says, ''Soup, and ice cream!''
Pete's Wicked Blonde Ale
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up!
Blonde Bird Killer
How does a blonde kill a bird?
She throws it off a cliff.
The Blonde and the Worm
Q: How does a blonde try to kill a worm?
A: Bury it alive!
Sleeping Blonde
Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping?
She forgot to close her eyes.
Blondes Ain't Takin' No Shorts
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So the guys telling 'em can understand 'em!
Bartender
A brunette walks into a bar and says, "Gimme an M L."
The bartender says, "What's an M L?"
The brunette says, "A Miller Light."
Another brunette walks in and says, "Gimme a B L"
The bartender says, "What's a B L?"
She says, "Bud Light."
A dumb blonde walks in and says, "Gimme a 15."
The bartender says, "What's a fifteen?"
The blonde says, "7&7, duh!"
Blonde's Fav Blonde Joke
What's brown and black and blue all over?
A brunette telling too many blonde jokes!
Blonde Bird Watcher
A blonde and her father are walking down a street when the father says, ''Look,
a dead bird.''
And the blonde looks up and says, ''Where?''
Baking Chocolate Chip Cookies
How can you tell when a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies?
There's M&M shells all over the floor.
The Blonde Hostess
Why did the blonde have empty beer cans in her fridge?
For people who don't drink.
Heckle Me Harder
A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are
spurting out really crude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the
audience stands up.
"I'm so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. It's because of you
that I have had to try harder to prove myself at work and in the community.
There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as
many smart people with blonde hair."
"Gosh, Miss, I'm terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn't mean to hurt
your feelings."
"Shut up! I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that little jerk on your lap!"
Mail Order Blonde
A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist.
"I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach
me."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?"
Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a
mailbox in my car."
Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working?"
Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?"
Blonde: "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps
changing."
Microwave Cookery
Why'd they create the microwave?
So blondes could cook, too!
Blonde Test
What happens to you when you find out a blonde passed a test?
You wake up.
Milk: It Doesn't A Blonde Good
Did you hear about the blonde who died drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.
Blonde Smoker
How did the blonde girl put out her cigarette?
She threw it in the water and stepped on it.
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