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Blonde at the Appliance Store
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to
buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman,
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit,
big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Another Dumb Blonde
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a
small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going
through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands
on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde
jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the
color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys
like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the
community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your
kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women
in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells,
''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''
Blonde in a
Car
A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys
in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window
to unlock the door?''
''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well
for that.''
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was
doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the
other blonde inside the car.
Leggy Blonde
What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
Nothing. They've never met.
No-So-Dumb
Blonde
One day a blonde is sitting on a plane next to one of those annoying, pushy
businessmen. He asks her if she would like to play a game. She politely
declines, but the man explains the game to her anyway.
He says, "It goes like this: I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong
you will give me $5, and vice-versa."
She says no again, and tries to fall asleep.
The man tries harder, saying, "Aw, come on. I'll give you $50 for each question.
Or how about $500?"
At that number, the blonde agrees.
The businessman explains again, "If you get my question wrong you give me $5.
And when you ask the question, and I get it wrong, I will pay you $500.
"Got it," she replies.
He asks, "Who was the sixth president?" She admits she doesn't know and gives
him $5.
Now it's her turn, and she says, "What has purple legs, five arms and only two
yellow teeth?"
The businessman doesn't know - he uses his laptop, checks the Internet, e-mails
his friends. No one knows the answer. So he gives her $500.00.
Then, as they're landing he asks her, "What was that thing anyway?"
She thinks a few minutes, hands him $5 and walks off the plane.
Pea Brain
Why was the Blonde's brain the size of a pea after exercising?
It swelled up!
Pea Brain
Why was the Blonde's brain the size of a pea after exercising?
It swelled up!
Real Blonde?
Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire State Building. How can you
tell which one is the true blonde and which one is the bleached blonde?
A: The bleached blonde isn't throwing bread crumbs at the helicopters!
Blondes and
Ice Cubes
Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: Because they always forget the recipe.
Blonde With Braces
A blonde went to the dentist and the dentist told her she needed braces. The
blonde said, ''Why? I can walk just fine.'' When the dentist explained to her
that braces are for her teeth, she said, ''But my teeth don't walk...''
Very Helpful Blonde Inventions
Ice Cube Mix
Tricycle Kickstand
Solar Flashlight
Dehydrated Water
Fire Proof Matches
Reversible Sandwich Bread
Black Light Bulb
Garage Door Closer
Cordless Cell Phone
Disposable Garbage Bags
When IS A Blonde Wearing
Underwear?
How do you tell a blonde isn't wearing underwear?
Dandruff on her shoes!
Blonde Driver
Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch?
Her blinker was on.
San Fran Blondes
Why don't blondes wear miniskirts in San Francisco?
Because their balls hang out!
Blondes and Virgins
Q: What do virgins and blondes have in common?
A: Nothing!
Blonde in Grocery Store
She was so blonde that she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
Blonde On A Fence
Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
Blondehole
What is the difference between a blonde and a pothole?
You swerve to miss a pothole!
Life Saver
A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to
drown, screaming "lifesaver! lifesaver!"
The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks "cherry or grape?"
Blonde Arrow
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Blonde's Bridge
Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river?
So she could have shade when she swam across!
Blonde Basement
Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.
Blonde Who Has it All
What do you give a blonde who has everything?
Penicillin.
The 69ers
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
Blonde Tag
Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.
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