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Blondog
Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?
From chasing parked cars!
Line of Blondes
What do you call a line of blondes?
Easy Street
Blonde's Computer Freeze
What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?
She sticks it in the microwave.
Blonde Pillow Talk
What do blondes say after sex?
''Are you boys all in the same band?''
Broom Factory
A blonde has been working in a broom factory since childhood, despite the
state's strict anti-child labor laws, and has always been a good worker. But one
day, she storms into her boss' office.
"I quit! That's it, I'm not working here anymore!"
"Why?" asks the boss. "What's the problem?"
"I've been working here for so long that I've grown the broom bristles between
my legs. I can't take it anymore."
"Listen," the boss says. "That's perfectly normal. Look, I have those too."
"Oh, my God!" she exclaims. "It's worse than I thought! You've also grown a
broom handle!"
I Can't Drive 69
Why is a blonde's top speed 68 mph?
Because if it was 69 she would blow a rod.
Blondes and Bricks
What's the difference between a blonde and a brick wall?
A brick wall's only been laid once!
Thank You For Flying With Us
A 747 was starting its descent and the pilot had forgotten to turn off the P.A.
system.
''As soon as I clock off'' he said, ''I'm going to have a nice cold beer and
then screw the arse off that blonde flight attendant.'' The horrified flight
attendant made a dash toward the cockpit, but tripped over in the aisle.
A little old lady sitting there whispered, ''There's no need to hurry love, he
said he was going to have a beer first.''
Blonde and Picture
Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?
A: So she could use it as a mirror.
Blonde on Fire
A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me,
please! My house is burning! Hurry!"
The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to
your house?"
The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
Blonde Skydiver
Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Blonde Ambition
Q: What is every blonde's ambition?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Bad Blondes, Whatcha Gonna Do?
A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to
look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been
driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.
"Yes," says the blonde.
"Are their lights on?"
The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."
Blonde Goes to the Airport
She is so blonde that, when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said
“Airport Left,” she turned around and went back home.
Blonde Protection
Q: What does a blonde use for protection during sex?
A: A bus shelter.
Blondes and Turtles
What do turtles and blondes have in common?
If they're on their back, they're screwed!
Blond Father
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby.
One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the
hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there
were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other
father!?!"
Blonde Homesteaders
What did the blonde mother say to the blonde daughter?
"If you're not in bed by 12, you can come home!"
Blonde Tip-toe
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Cerebral Blonde
What do you call a blond with two brain cells?
Pregnant!
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