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Iranians
Why are Iranians so smart?
Because none of them are blonde.
Blondes and Candles
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?
A: Sits around a candle
Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: Lights it
Taxed Blonde
A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. ''That will be
$1.08, please'' says the clerk.
''What's the eight cents for?'' asks the blonde. ''It says one dollar right here
on the packaging.''
''Tax,'' replies the clerk.
''Gee,'' says the blonde, ''I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed
put!''
How Do You Confuse A Blonde?
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her an M&M bag, and tell her to alphabetize it.
She Is So Blonde... Taco Bell
She is so blonde, she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
Blonde Hits the Ground Last
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building with the same velocity, each
travelling at a parallel speed relative to one another, who lands first?
The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
Blonde Submarine
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.
Gone Camping
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go camping for the weekend. The brunette
brings food so they can eat, the red head brings water so they can drink and the
blonde brings a car door, so if she gets hot she can roll down a window.
The Blonde and the Blinker
Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see
if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes.
No. Yes. No.''
Blondes Making Kool-Aid
Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?
Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the little packet.
Artificial Intelligence in a
Bottle
What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.
Blonde vs. Ratings System
Q: What happened when the blonde went to the movie theater?
A: She saw the “NC-17: Under 17 not admitted” sign, so she went home and got 16
friends.
Blonde Cattle Ranchers
Why don't Blondes make good cattle ranchers?
They can't keep their calves together.
Perfumed Blonde
Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles?
Because it ends up behind her ears anyway!
Blonde Grenadier
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Atlantic Coast and a Blonde
What's the difference between the Atlantic Coast and a blonde?
The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs!!
Blonde Lightning Storm
Q: Why do blondes smile when there's lightning?
A: Because they think they're getting their picture taken!
Blonde Data
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear ?
A: Data transfer.
Blonde's Helicopter Lessons
One day, a blonde went to go get lessons on how to fly a plane. The guy at the
airport said there were no more plane flying lessons this year but she could
take helicopter lessons. The blonde agreed and the man taught her and said,
"I'll radio you every 1000 feet you go in the air." The blonde agreed.
He jumped in and took off. At 1000 feet, she radioed him and asked how she was
doing. He said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, she radioed him and asked how
she was doing. He said she was doing great. But right before she got to 3000
feet, the propeller stopped and she started twirling to the ground. When she
landed, he went over to pull her out of the helicopter. He asked her what went
wrong because she was doing perfect before. The blonde said, ''At 2500 feet, I
started to get cold so I turned the big fan off.''
Shirt Words
Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shirt?
It stands for, "Tits Go In Front."
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