HOME
Bumper Sticker Sayings
1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
3. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
4. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
5. Do I look like a freakin' people person?
6. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
7. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
8. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
9. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
10. You! Off my planet!
11. I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
12. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
13. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
14. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
15. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
16. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
17. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
18. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
19. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
20. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
22. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep
yet.
23. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
24. Adults are just kids who owe money.
25. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
26. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
27. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
28. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
29. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my
cat.
30. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
31. Earth is full. Go home.
32. Is it time for your medication or mine?
33. Does this condom make me look fat?
34. I plead contemporary insanity.
35. And which dwarf are you?
36. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. Meandering to a different drummer.
39. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
40. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?
You're So Stupid
You're so stupid that if you got locked in a grocery store, you'd starve to
death!
Yo Daddy
Yo daddy is like a mounds bar -- he's got no nuts.
Yo Mama's So Fat... High Heels
#2
Yo mama's so fat, she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops.
Submitted by Rachel Pinero
Yo mama's So Old
Yo' mama so old, I slapped her on the back and her tits fell off!
You're so poor...
You're so poor that when you go to McDonald's, you have to put the dollar meal
on layaway!
Yo Mama's So Ugly
Yo' mama so ugly, she scares blind kids away.
Yo mama's So Flat
Yo' mama so flat, she's jealous of the wall!
Your Teeth
You have so many gaps in your teeth, it looks like your tongue is in jail.
Yo mama's So Fat... Sea World
Yo' mama so fat, she goes to Sea World and they pay her!
Yo mama's...Ugly
Yo Mama is so dirty, she stepped of the sidewalk and a policeman gave her a
ticket for littering.
Yo mama's...Ugly
Yo mama so ugly when she was born they used a tinted incubator.
You Smell
Your armpits smell so bad that the teacher gave you an A just for not raising
your hand
Your Teeth...
Your teeth are so yellow that when you close your mouth, your stomach lights up.
Yo mama's So Stupid
Yo mama is so stupid she thought PMS was a telephone company.
Yo mama's So Poor
Yo' mama so poor, she hangs the toilet paper out to dry!
Yo mama's so fat... Hopscotch
Yo Mamma's so fat she plays hopscotch like this: Atlanta, New York, Chicago,
Detroit, Los Angelos, Seattle, Las Vegas...
You're So Ugly
You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for
littering!
Parking Meter
You're so dumb yo put a quater in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to
come out.
Jiggle
If your ass was any more jiggly, Bill Cosby would have to stick a spoon in it.