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BMW & a Porcupine
What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine?
A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
Yo mama's So Short
Yo' mama so short, she tripped over a skittle, hit the curb, and died on impact!
Your Breath Is So Bad
Your breath is so stank, when you talk your lips go numb.
Yo Mama's so Fat... God
Yo' mama's so fat, even God couldn't lift her spirits!
Yo mama's So Stupid
Yo' mama so stupid, she went to the police station and said, ''Give me all your
money!''
Yo mama's so fat... swimming
Yo mama so fat, she goes swimming and gets harpooned!
You're So Stupid
You're so stupid that when your crack was stolen, you reported it to the police!
Yo Mama's So Fat... C-Section
Yo' mama so fat that she couldn't be born by a C-Section. She had to be born by
a C-D-E-F-G Section!
Signs you are a loser
1. Your dog rather rub up against the wall than have you pet it.
2. All the numbers in your little black book start with "1-900."
3. Due to excessive hazing and ridicule, you decided to drop out of the Origami
Club.
4. You were almost involved in a threesome, but your left hand fell asleep.
5. Fantasizing out loud before falling asleep is your idea of "pillow talk."
6. Your personal ad reads: "Seeking Anybody."
7. Next to your name in the phone directory, the phone number is replaced with
the phrase "Who cares?"
8. You look forward to the dinner time calls from telemarketers.
9. The last time you were invited to a party, you were grooving to the lyric,
"Put your right foot in, take your right foot out."
10. You spent last summer following around the 2000 Bible Belt Trekkie
Convention Tour.
Yo mama's...Beach
Yo mama's so fat that when she goes walking on the beach in heals she strikes
oil.
Yo mama's So Fat
Yo' mama so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself!
Yo Mama's So Fat... Handbag
Yo' mama so fat that when she changes hands on her handbag, she has to throw it!
Yo mama's So Hairy
Yo' mama so hairy, she has to part her hair to take a crap!
Lawyers vs Prostitutes
How are lawyers like whores?
They both get paid to screw people.
Harvard, Yale, and Urinal
Etiquette
A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention.
The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?"
The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to piss on our hands."
Your teeth are so busted...
Your teeth are so busted that you can kiss your mother and comb her mustache at
the same time.
Yo mama's So Fat
Yo' mama so fat, she's the reason there's night and day!
Lesbians, Diets, and Makeup
Why don't lesbians go on diets and wear makeup at the same time?
It's hard to be on Jenny Craig when you've got Liz Clairborne on your face!
How Tall?
How tall are you?
I didn't know they stacked shit that high!