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Lenin's silver ruble
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
In 1967, the Soviet Government minted a beautiful silver ruble with Lenin in a
very familiar pose - arms raised above him, leading the country to revolution.
But, it was clear to everybody, that if you looked at it from behind, it was
clear that Lenin was pointing to 11:00, when the Vodka shops opened, and was
actually saying, "Comrades, forward to the Vodka shops."
It became fashionable, when one wanted to have a drink, to take out the ruble
and say, "Oh my goodness, Comrades, Lenin tells me we should go."
At a distressed city
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Los Angeles Times, November 24:
Banning, Blythe and Barstow no longer qualify as "distressed" cities under
federal guidelines, nor do Adelanto, Lake Elsinore, or Loma Linda.
But Beverly Hills does.
According to a new U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development list,
Beverly Hills can apply for about $56 million a year in business development
grants reserved for small cities suffering "physical and economic distress."
Bank robber stealing
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
LOS ANGELES TIMES, December 9:
A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a
note demanding money. The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun,
so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer.
When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out
the door. It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.
U.S. Air Force pilot
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
I have a friend who flew Lear Jets for the U.S. Air Force. He would occasionally
be assigned to an air show where one of his tasks was answering questions about
his plane. Someone would always point to the fuel tank and ask if it was a
missile. His standard answer was, "I can neither confirm or deny the presence of
nuclear weapons on this aircraft."
Phone keeps ringing
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Phone Won't Stop Ringing?
Here's What You Do
Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike
most people she did something about it.
The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired
almost the same telephone number as Leola.
From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since
she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to
persuade the motel management to change its number.
Naturally, the management refused claiming that it could not change its
stationery.
The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just
because a customer was getting someone else's calls 24 hours a day didn't make
it responsible. After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters
into her own hands.
At 9 o'clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was calling the motel and
asked for a room for the following Tuesday. Leoloa said, "No problem. How many
nights?"
A few hours later Dallas checked in. A secretary wanted a suite with two
bedrooms for a week. Emboldened, Leola said the Presidential Suite on the 10th
floor was available for $600 a night. The secretary said that she would take it
and asked if the hotel wanted a deposit. "No, that won't be necessary," Leola
said. "We trust you."
The next day was a busy one for Leola. In the morning, she booked an electric
appliance manufacturers' convention for Memorial Day weekend, a college prom and
a reunion of the 82nd Airborne veterans from World War II.
She turned on her answering machine during lunchtime so that she could watch her
favorite soap opera, but her biggest challenge came in the afternoon when a
mother called to book the ballroom for her daughter's wedding in June.
Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and asked if she would be
providing the flowers or did she want the hotel to take care of it. The mother
said that she would prefer the hotel to handle the floral arrangements. Then the
question of valet parking came up. Once again Leola was helpful. "There's no
charge for valet parking, but we always recommend that the client tips the
drivers."
Within a few months, the Ribrock Plaza Motel was a disaster area.
People kept showing up for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Sweet Sixteen parties and
were all told there were no such events.
Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper that the motel
might go bankrupt. Her phone rang, and an executive from Marriott said, "We're
prepared to offer you $200,000 for the motel."
Leola replied. "We'll take it, but only if you change the telephone number."
Flying to Frankfurt
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short-tempered lot. They not
only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any
assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened
to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747
(radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.
Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."
Ground: "Good Morning, taxi to your gate." The British Airways 747 pulls onto
the main taxiway and stops.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."
Ground (impatiently): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop".
Problems during flight
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being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window.
Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light.
Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot
that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time."
Pentagon and pencils
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
GET OUT YOUR 'PORTABLE HAND-HELD COMMUNICATIONS INSCRIBERS'
WASHINGTON - When is a pencil not a pencil? When it's on a Pentagon shopping
list - then it's a ''portable hand-held communications inscriber,'' says a
Republican senator.
Writing to Grandma
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
A little boy wrote this letter to his grandmother:
Dear Grandmother,
I'm sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you
forgot mine next Tuesday.
With love,
Mike
Passing a school bus
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
"Unlawful to Pass School Bus from Either Direction"
I guess that some people misunderstood that, because now it reads:
"Unlawful to Pass Stopped School Bus from Either Direction".
Televised operations
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
As public television viewers in 12 cities sat glued to their sets while doctors
in Philadelphia reconstructed 15-month-old Michele Miller's skull during a
two-hour operation broadcast live, the girl's parents, Lynn and Paul Miller of
Princeton, N.J., opted to watch "The Wizard of Oz" instead.
Striking statistics
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
The odds of winnning the California lottery by matching all six numbers are 14
times greater than the odds of being struck by lightening, according to Lottery
magazine. the figure drops to nine times greater in New Jersey, six times
greater in Pennsylvania, and four times greater in Connecticut.
Death sentence cleared
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
In Atlanta, U.S. District Judge Charles Moye overturned a death sentence for a
murderer because the jury that convicted him 10 years ago had asked for a Bible
during deliberations.
Sudanese government
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
When the Sudanese government showed an interest in buying two Russian transport
planes to ferry supplies to famine-ridden ares in the south, the acting Soviet
ambassador allowed the Sudanese to test-fly the aircraft. They flew to
rebel-held Yirol and bombed the city, pushing bombs out of the cargo doors.
I.R.S. parking tickets
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Boston Globe, April 13, 1990
Is there justice in this world? Well, in Jacksonville, Fla., an Internal Revenue
Service car parked outside the federal courthouse was "booted" for unpaid
parking tickets, forcing tax collectors to fork over $122.50 to set it free.
The IRS had to pay $95 for five tickets, a $25 removal fee plus $2.50 for
processing to get the boot taken off, said Gertrude Bradley, clerical supervisor
for the city parking division.
With the tax-filing deadline closing in, courthouse employees were chuckling
about the IRS' misfortune. But the agency was not amused.
"We're not pleased with it," said spokesman Holger Euringer. Yeah, we're all
really upset.
Working cards at ATMs
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
One day in line for the automatic teller I overheard:
[Person 1]: Gee, I don't get it..
[Person 2]: What's wrong?
[Person 1]: My card wont work.
[Person 2]: Did anything happen to it?
[Person 1]: I don't think so... It wasn't working very well for a while, so I
rubbed the strip on the back with a magnet to recharge it... Now it isn't
working at all!
Hunter shot by fox
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Hunter Shot to Death By a Fox, Belgrade, Associated Press
A fox shot and killed a 38-year-old hunter in central Yugoslavia, the official
Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported yesterday.
Salih Hajdur, a farmer from the village of Gornje Hrasno in the Republic of
Bosnia-Hercegovina, went to a nearby forest Sunday to shoot a fox, Tanjug said.
Hajdur wounded a fox in the leg, the agency said, but to spare the skin he did
not fire again. Instead, he hit the animal with his refle butt. The struggling
animal triggered a shot that hit Hajdur in the chest and killed him instantly,
Tanjug said. The fox died later, Tanjug added.
Attorney questioning
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Scene: A courtroom where a witness is testifying in a case involving a man
biting off the ear of another man during a fight. After supplying testimony
which was very bad for the defendant, the witness was being cross examined by
the defendant's attorney.
Attorney: You said that you saw the defendant and the plaintiff in a fight?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: You then said that you were concerned for your safety and that,
because of this concern, you sought shelter elsewhere?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: You further stated that during this time of seeking shelter, you
turned your back to the fight at hand?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: And THEN you testified that that was when the defendant bit off the
plaintiff's ear??!!
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: Well, that makes for an interesting question then! If your back was
turned to the fight then you obviously MUST have had the plaintiff and the
defendant out of your field of vision, correct?
Witness: Yes, correct.
Attorney: Well then, did you SEE the defendant bite off the plaintiff's ear?
Witness: No.
Attorney: (Smugly) THEN HOW DO YOU "KNOW" THAT THE DEFENDANT BIT OFF THE EAR OF
THE PLAINTIFF IF YOU DID NOT SEE HIM DO IT??!!
Witness: I saw him spit it out.
(Dead Silence)
Attorney: No more questions.
Strange headline news
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
A bird dropped a snake over a California power station, short-circuiting a line
and causing a two-hour blackout.
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A Creighton University (Nebraska) Law School senior, told she wouldn't graduate
because of a failing grade on a final exam, sued her professor, claiming he
flunked her because she is "politically incorrect."
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Biloxi, Mississippi, jurors acquitted a woman of drug charges, then passed the
hat to collect $55 to pay her bus fare home to Texas.
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A man allegedly held up 18 New York businesses after casing the places while
filling out job or rental applications. The spree ended after he accidentally
signed his real name on one of the forms, police said.
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Harlan County, Nebraska, Assessor Floyd Schippert was unopposed in the
Democratic primary, and just to be sure, he entered -- and won -- the Republican
primary also.
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Willie Turner wasn't running for the Dendron, Virginia, Town Council. He didn't
even vote. But he won with five write-in votes.
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A Hollywood, California man is accused of renting cars, selling them, then
stealing them back for return to the rental companies.
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Corpus Christi, Texas, police said it was a hit-and-gallop accident: A man
crashed his truck into the back of a car, then fled on the horse he was pulling
in the trailer.
Candidate's shootout
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Fargo, North Dakota:
A candidate for sheriff has challenged his opponents to a shootout, calling it a
test of a law officer's ability to protect the public.
"Clearly, being the best shot doesn't necessarily make you the best sheriff, but
I think it proves a point," Ken Schwab said Tuesday.
Schwab wants the four other candidates to meet him June 1 at a shooting range.
Each will fire 24 rounds at targets to determine the best shot, Schwab said.
The challenge could be a problem for one candidate -- a well-known local tax
protester and convicted felon who's not allowed to possess a firearm.
Bees pay you a visit
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Patterson, New Jersey:
When 60-year-old Al Asbaty returned to his car after shopping, he was startled
to find that thousands of bees were building a hive inside his Oldsmobile.
Due to the sunny and warm weather, he had left the windows rolled down, allowing
a queen bee to fly in, followed by about 20,000 of her most faithful servants.
Just as one of Asbaty's relatives was about to spray the inside of the car with
a can of insecticide, police bee expert Tom Fuscalo arrived and managed to coax
the insects into an artificial hive.
Free marriage ceremony
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Farmer's Branch, Texas:
Customers waiting for car repairs at Swedish Auto Incorporated now have an
alternative to reading old magazines.
William Signs, owner of the garage, is offering a free marriage ceremony with
any 30,000-mile inspection on Hondas, Volvos and BMWs. For the $290 price of the
inspection, he will throw in the cost of being married by the local justice of
the peace, a $25 value.
The inspection comes with a warranty, but there is no guarantee on the marriage.
Then again, the justice of the peace, Judge Bob Forman, suggests, "Maybe the car
will break down and the marriage won't." He says he hasn't seen anything like
this stunt since his days as a practicing attorney, when a client asked him to
draw up wills for employees in lieu of cash bonuses at Christmas.
Signs said he got the idea during a trip to Las Vegas, where he noticed a
helicopter operator offering free marriage ceremonies with the purchase of a
deluxe helicopter ride. He decided to borrow the concept and bring some joy to
the unhappy business of auto repair. "Normally people don't get good news" at
auto shops, he adds.
The mechanic isn't concerned about his offer hastening the nuptials of
mismatched partners or cheapening the institution of marriage. After all,
30,000-mile inspections aren't inexpensive. "They're going to have to spend
almost $300." he says.
If the promotion proves popular, Signs is prepared to expand it to providing
one-size-fits-all tuxedos and wedding dresses of the type that grooms and brides
easily slip into at high-volume Las Vegas wedding chapels. For customers whose
marriages fall apart, Signs is considering another bargain -- an uncontested
divorce after four 30,000-mile inspections, a $100 value.
To advertise the promotion, Signs sent out a mailing to prospective customers
and placed an ad on the side the shop van. But the ad began two months ago, and
so far no one has taken Signs up on it. He has, however, heard lots of giggles
and guffaws from people who call or stop to ask if the deal is real.
Meanwhile, his own Volvo is approaching another 30,000-mile point, and he's
worried that his girlfriend may notice and pressure him to cash in on his own
offer. To avoid that, he says he's considering disabling his odometer.
Race dead candidates
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Martinez, California:
Gus Kramer faces an unusual challenge in his race for county assessor: His
opponents would rather see a dead man elected.
Kramer's only rival in the Contra Costa County race, Dan Hallissy, died of a
heart attack April 10 -- too late for anyone else to run.
But Hallissy's name will remain on the ballot for the June 7 nonpartisan
primary. And the incumbent assessor is working to get him elected.
Voters should have "a chance to elect an honest, experienced person to this
office," said assessor John Biasotti.
A Hallissy victory would force a special election next March, open to any
candidate.
U.S. Representative Bill Baker, a Republican, also is backing the posthumous
effort. His spokesman said voters should have a choice.
Kramer, who briefly stopped campaigning to mark Hallissy's death, decried the
effort as a "classical case of cronyism." He said his opponents "want the
taxpayer to blow $800,000," about the cost of a special election.
Kramer also bristled at the charge he's unfit for the job, citing his experience
as city clerk for Martinez and as a real estate agent for the county's Public
Works Department.
The assessor's office is responsible for estimating property values in the
830,000-person county, 30 miles east of San Francisco. The job pays $84,000 a
year.
Technology is too good
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being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Seattle, Washington:
The new U.S. Weather Service radar on Camano Island and atmospheric profiler at
Sand Point began to pick up a mysterious 20 mile per hour wind out of the south
each night about a month ago, a wind that started about sunset and ended at
dawn.
Forecasters finally realized the new instrument is almost too accurate for its
own good: It was detecting no wind, but the annual nighttime migration of
thousands of birds towards the north, said a meteorologist.
I'll sue for injuries
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Fort Worth, Texas:
Lee Lively thought he was doing the right thing when he shot a drunken driving
suspect who had beaten up a policeman and was running away.
His faith was shaken when Jesus Puentes demanded $1.7 million for his wounds.
But the jury said Puentes is the one who must pay -- $1.75 million in punitive
damages and $1,000 for Cpl. Randy Whisenhunt's injuries.
"We just wanted to make a statement. We're tired of the frivolous lawsuits that
are plaguing our court system," juror Elsie Bowles said.
February 17, 1990, Lively saw Puentes grabbing for Whisenhunt's gun. The officer
managed to knock it away, but ended up with Puentes sitting on his chest,
beating his face.
Lively said he leaped out of his truck and beat Puentes to the gun. As Puentes
began to run, Lively said he shouted twice for him to stop, then shot him twice
in the legs.
New military tourism
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Moscow, Russia:
First it was a flight in a MiG fighter jet. Then 30 seconds of weightlessness in
a cosmonaut-training device.
Soon thrill-seeking tourists may be able to ride in a Russian submarine, tank or
missile ship.
Pressed for money and burdened with surplus weaponry since the end of the Cold
War, Russia is pioneering a new fad: military tourism.
The only requirements are a taste for adventure and plenty of cash.
As the plane goes into a dive from 30,000 feet, passengers in its padded
zero-gravity chamber suddenly rise from the aircraft's floor.
The price for floating free for half a minute: $4,000.
Return what is stolen
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Des Moines, Iowa:
A repentant burglar returned his loot to its owners, along with a note
explaining why: "My priest said I done a wrong."
More than $200, a pair of sunglasses and some golf balls were found Monday
morning on the steps of Potthoff Foods Incorporated, a meat wholesaler.
"He took my sunglasses, but I didn't know he took them until I got them back
this morning," sales representative Phil Barber said. "You know, I don't think
something like this happens that often. It's sort of neat. The guy did wrong,
but he tried to make it right."
The break-in at Potthoff's happened late Friday or early Saturday. The thief
pried open a door and rummaged through some desks.
Potthoff officials said they're not going to depend on the honesty of thieves'
nature in the future.
"We are adding an extra security system today," Barber said.
People with busy lives
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
St. Paul, Minnesota:
For people with lots on their agenda, Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing Company
creates 25-inch-by-30-inch Post-It Easel Pads.